Otaku-do

Hello. My name is Mehdi and I am an idiot.

I rewrite and update my profiles constantly, hoping that the right combination of words and the sight of my abs will make the perfect woman scream in delight and just fall into my lap.

The trouble is I often misspell even simple words or use them in the wrong context. Will the perfect woman, with multiple degrees and a deft tongue, overlook that? I hope so- I have a big dick.

Sometimes I request qualities that a former girlfriend possesses, even if she is a psycho. Even if I can't match those qualities myself!

I demand that a girl be "balanced" and well-rounded when I work 12-hour days and then go home to another computer screen, trolling for pussy that I can't get in real life, and end my Saturday nights updating my profiles like a pathetic teenybopper, not to mention strain very hard to add hobbies and interests in my profiles, some of which I haven't pursued in ages or I've tried only once (after just tagging along with company).

I say that TV bores me though I am in fact addicted to Youtube. And regarding those times I've denied an Asian fetish, more homely Asian girls in a lip-lock!

I claim to love reading when I can count the books I own on one hand. The authors I mentioned? I read their book in high school or one novel on a long plane trip 2 years ago. Or it's a silly New Age-y book translated for the middling masses. Ask me about a novel and I do my Rain Man imitation.

I expect a girl to be cultured and international yet my passion for Japan is mainly rooted in anime/manga, video games and hentai. Ask me how many kanjis I've learned since I dumped my Japanese girlfriend 4 years ago. Then ask me how much money goes to my monthly subscription to streaming hentai video. Or better yet, let's start an intelligent , informed opinion of other aspects of Japanese culture in which I don't mention my Japanese ex.

I brag that I'm some sort of bon vivant, with a love for the delicious dish in equally delectable company, but I usually have to search online for such company, and then tag along to group events. I'm rarely invited individually. My fall-back "friend" is not usually a connoisseur. Ah, the photos don't lie- among the many heady group photos in the archive, there's one of me, sitting alone at a table, with everyone else's head turned away from me. My clueless smile, my rapidly receding hairline. Ouch, it was so cold that night!

I want a lively girl, adventurous, with an edge. And then I post photos of my lone outing this year, again to a group event. I tagged along, of course. Ask me what I like to do and I'll just complain about life in LA.

I brag that I'm brutally honest... as far as I know... but never about myself. (Ask me about one of my "hot" Philippinas (see above), e.g., why she's a "quality girl.")

I want a girl who's insanely sane and will flatter and accommodate me... wait a minute! I had one and got bored after three months. :-( Now I want someone awesome again. The ones who've lived fully will tell me that awesome doesn't mean perfect, but I'm a golden boy and really deserve such a fantasy. My family tells me so.

I want someone sharp and wise.. yet I can't pinpoint the reason why I'm perpetually unhappy in my relationships and why most girls who completely flip for me are usually 1) unattractive (scare away my friend), 2) only mildly educated (like me), 3) not worldly, sophisticated or cultured (also like me) or 4) don't have careers, only low-paying customer service or clerical jobs. And why is it that, even after dating 4 girls at one time, I still spend most nights alone???