Myspace is the place for skanks

Friday, June 9, 11:28pm.

Like the otaku that I am, I end my Friday night once again not in the arms of a hot babe or with real friends but in front of the 'puter, creating another myspace account to do some pussy trolling on the down-low. Even though I already have a legit account.

My username: Hitozuma.

I'm so awesome! None of those ditzy chicks who usually talk to me will even know what it refers to: hentai, specifically, crazy monkey love with married women. You know, the bored, horny ones who don't get it enough from their husbands??? Yessss- booty at last! I'll be going through those profiles like they were free coke! Last summer it was older single women; this is the summer for freaks with negligent misters. I don't mind being Stud #3 or even 4. Husband is away in Sudan with Médecins sans Frontières investigating a meningococcal meningitis outbreak. Achingly beautiful lover #2 just flew to New York to accept a Carnegie award for his latest sculpture. Maybe that hunky Colombian gardener with the sexy cumbia moves caught a cold this weekend? That leaves moi- smelly-illiterate-corporate-slave-animator-with-the-funny-gait. Good for a cheap fling every now and then; never the top dog. I don't deserve a loving relationship, anyway. Or one longer than 3 months.

Well .... no married women just yet but one of the girls I bookmarked had a photo of her with some guy grabbing her left breast. Ah, another quality girl. If only maman could see...

I know, I know- I've announced a million times before that the Internet is not a good place to meet girls but what are my options??? Stupid LA bitches who don't give me the time of day...

Oh well.. back to spanking Charlie until he throws up.


otaku n. one who is obsessed with anime, video games, or computers, has lamentable social skills and rarely leaves home
syn. retard, loser, boob



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