June 2004I was browsing myspace profiles at work, as usual. I saw Heidi's profile and decided that I needed her skanky ass on my friends lists. That's what myspace is for, right? So I emailed her "I want to fuck you." In no time, I was invited to her house, where the night didn't go as well as I was hoping.
First of all, I nearly drowned in cat hair. (I'm allergic.) Next, we went to a local bar where she proceeded to down multiple drinks at a time while entertaining her buddies/fans- apparently, she was a regular. After about $100 on drinks - not bad just for company - we returned to her house where she announced that she already had a boyfriend so she couldn't do anything but give me a kiss. So we made out a little and I left.
In my drunken state I found my way to Marianna's apt, not too far. I told her what transpired. She found Heidi on myspace and declared that she looked like Courtney Love after swallowing a cow. Nan da yo! Konna uresai onna...
Heidi deleted me from her friend's list the next day.
Back to the beginning.
